Here’s what two people in a relationship need to do, whether they are living together or staying apart:

• Strive towards a genuine awareness of one’s feelings and needs. Ask these questions: how does this experience affect me? What does my reaction say about me?
• Establish a non-judgmental stance. Do not think of oneself or the other person as being good or bad for having such feelings and needs.
• Share your feelings and needs with each other in the context of day-to-day experiences. This is best done around the same time on a daily basis, such as before going to bed.
• Affirm what is shared. Acknowledge feelings and needs. Ask questions to clarify if you have difficulty understanding what your partner means.
• Be sensitive. Honor what is shared by your partner and respect him. Discuss how each one can be responsive to the needs and feelings of the other.

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